I got a book in the mail the other day.
This isn’t just any book. If I Never is a book written by Gary William Murning. From where? From right here at WordPress! A fellow blogger!
I happened upon Gary’s blog before he became a published author and he seemed like a cool guy. I added him to my blogroll. Now he has a book! How cool is that? A famous person on my blogroll. 
I have company until Tuesday so I won’t be able to get down to reading right away. That hurts…the whole time I am going to be thinking about it. Maybe I can sneak away for bits of time.
If you are interested in knowing more about Gary and his blog: Gary William Murning Online.
A sample chapter of If I Never can be read here.
After that, I am sure you will want to buy it yourself. You can do so here.
I wish I had the know how to write a review for the book when I am finished but, I am just not good at that. I can tell you if I liked it, how it made me feel and will keep you posted as I read it.
This is so awesome, Gary! I’m so excited to read your book. Don’t forget us little people when you are famous!
I have been meaning to write about all the legal things I have learned the past year. Loop holes and oddities in the legal and medical field. Things that I never knew about before all the events that have taken place in my life recently. Which got me thinking about my late Mother-In-Law (from here on aka MIL)
I had started a web site in her memory but so much has happened since her passing, the family is just not ready to get it up and running just yet. I was going to include my own memory of her there, that would mean writing this novella, taking up too much space.
My MIL taught me so many things. To be quite honest, some of it was lost on me, things I thought were just a wee bit naggy (table manners…sorry), but most of the time tidbits and traditions that I will hold on to forever. One of the most important things she taught me was to accept a hug AND give one.
Let’s back up a bit to when I first met ‘the family.’ I think I was 17 (could have been 18). Growing up in my family did not include hugs. Not that we didn’t love each other. We just weren’t the gushy type. We believe people are surrounded with energy, sometimes it’s negative, the kind you don’t want seeping into your karmic space. You know the type, they ooze it, you feel it when they walk in the room. The creepy guy who makes those red flags stand up and wave. (I’ll get back to him another time) I did not like my personal space invaded. Besides, it was awkward and uncomfortable.
It was Christmas. I was already nervous about meeting them. They hadn’t seen my husband for some time and I was the first girl he had ever brought home to ‘meet the parents.’ They met us at the door and gave each other a hug…introductions…before I knew it I was embraced in a great big full on hug. Not the quick, weak kind either. I was squeezed! Not only that…kissed…some of them on the lips! WELL…talk about being taken by surprise. I was nervous before but this took the cake. Maybe it was because it had been so long since they had seen him. Once we were back home, I told my family about it, likening it to a plague. We laughed and joked about it. Rolled our eyes.
The next holiday, it was the same thing. This time his step-fathers family were there as well. He has a big family. It happened again! I managed to get through it unscathed but, it still felt like an invasion of sorts. I could picture the colours of my aura swirling, getting all mixed together and trying to get back to normal. Check my pulse. Yes, I am still breathing. It didn’t kill me. They seem like good people (they are). I had to do it again when people were leaving to go home.
It took years to become comfortable with this. It was a bit of a joke on my side of the family. (Isn’t that terrible?) I would call and let them know we would be visiting his family and they would laugh and give the old “Have fun…” ahahahahaaaaaaa…Let’s all make fun of the gushy, huggy people.
I got use to the fact it would take about a half hour before you get to sit down after arriving.
—Years Later…
Imagine the shock of my family, when out of habit, every time I saw them I came at them with a full-on hug! It just became who I am. I was becoming gushy. I wanted my family to know how much I loved them and this was one way I could do it without actually saying it. It wasn’t hard to see they reacted quite the same way I did at first. That awkward, not knowing what to do or say moment, then quickly going about other things. Ignoring what just happened while playing it back in your head like WTF was that all about?
I will never forget the first time I hugged my Gran. She recoiled from me like I was going to attack her. She grew up in an environment that did not include any type of this emotional stuff. You DO NOT invade her space. You NEVER touch her charged gem stones or you will get all your nasty vibes all over them. She took that stuff seriously. I just kept doing it anyway. My immediate family got used to it quick enough, but not Gran. She, like me, took years to adapt to this strange tradition. But she did adapt.
I see now, what a gift my MIL gave me. My freaking family hugs all the time now. If it hadn’t been for her I would have missed out on all those hugs from Gran. I would have wondered if she ever knew how much I loved her. (I told her many times, but to me…words are words, anyone can open their mouth and have stuff spew out of it. Actions prove it.) And when you hug someone with love, they know if it’s real or not. You feel it.
She gave me a gift. I didn’t see it then.
It has become such a habit that at a family reunion I was introduced to a friend of my Fathers, he held out the standard hand, I ignored it and gave him a hug. Later, my Dad took me aside with the biggest grin on his face, and said I almost gave the guy a heart attack. He said the guy probably hadn’t been that close to a woman in years and that he was the shyest guy Dad knows. We laughed about it for sometime. I hugged him when he left for good measure.
Another time we were at my Great-Uncle’s funeral, I don’t see that side of the family as much. You know how everyone greets and catches up. Everywhere you turn there is another family member you haven’t seen in ages. My Dad and his brothers (minus a few) all have the same eyes. I was standing with my Dad (again), turned, saw the eyes and said “Uncle Rick!” and gave him a hug. As I am backing away I realize it was not my uncle Rick. It wasn’t any of my uncle’s. I did not even know this person. He bust out laughing (maybe from the look of shock on my face or the blush rushing to my cheeks). I apologized and explained that it was his eyes…I just assumed.
He thanked me for the hug and said it wasn’t everyday he got a hug from a pretty lady! Ok, I like this guy already. hahaha We had a good laugh and then he told me who he was. He was my great uncles son that no-one had known about, save for a few. My great-uncle had an affair, he was going to give a speech about him and explain to everyone who he was. He seemed so relieved to tell someone and have it off his chest before he got up there. Talk about that hug being an ice breaker! He had been so nervous up until then, now a group of us were laughing about what I had done and chatting away.
So, if you see me coming, you KNOW what’s coming next…
I hug everyone! If you don’t like having people invading your space, turn and run. Otherwise, get use to it, I had to. I learned to love it.
The one thing I regret is not call my MIL Mom. She wanted that, but I never felt comfortable with it. My husband asked me to try and I asked him why he didn’t call my Mom, Mom. He nodded his head and said, okay, I understand. I did call her Mom a few times but it felt so odd. I couldn’t…
I should have.
Too late now but for all it’s worth…
I love you, Mom and thank you for the wonderful gift of hugging you gave me.
(((HUGS))) everyone. 
Things I’ve bookmarked over the past few months.
Playa Cofi Jukeox – A legal on-line jukebox and it is free! (Currently listening to One Hit Wonders)
The naked truth about the future of airline travel – From the Calgary Herald, a funny satire article.
Canstruction – the most unique food charity in the world!
100 Free Things to do With Your Grandchildren – Free printable guide
The Yes Men – Fix The World. Funny guys with an agenda! Check out the Fix The World Challenge (A Yes Men Game)
Regretsy – Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet!
Can’t get enough of George on The Hour? Missed a show? Watch full episodes here. Or at youtube.
Just can’t wait to try lab grown pork.
For Muse (But everyone would love this!) – Cellist Giovanni Sollima. – Daydream This 2 part video is amazing(Part One)
Part two rocks!!!
Parliament is Broken, not Worthless – A great article if you are concerned about democracy.
Canadians Want More Money Spent on Medical Research – You know, cause those big pharm companies just don’t make enough to pay for it themselves. (My line not theirs)
You can tell I am not in my happy place today when I include news. I’m worried my plans for what I thought was my future, may not be. That will be my choice, feeling obligated. But upset about it at the same time. Was going to write a long rant and stopped myself from doing so. I read later that today is Blue Monday. No wonder. A very negative day. Negative energy I felt awful all day. So I opted out of the rant. Maybe Tues… I’ll try not to.
The past year has been so hectic and I have been so far behind in every aspect of my life. Even the simple tasks seemed like an overwhelming thing to do. I just put everything off that didn’t absolutely have to get done. I get into these traps and have to force myself out of them. Sometimes it is hard to motivate oneself. I need pushes…reminders…hints…
With work being so slow, money has been tight. We really had to nail down our spending. Even now, we never know what is up from one month to the next. I am sure we will manage though.
I like to keep my mind occupied and have a terrible habit of taking on too much, and that is usually when things happen in my life and then I scold myself. WHY did I have to start that, or do that now? Such is life, I suppose.
This list in my head is enormous! But first things first: Blogging!
FAMILY TREE
Oh my! It was back in October that I had read a wonderful blog by CJ about his family tree.
You should click the link above and read it. A truly wonderful post! It had me thinking about how important family is. I researched my family tree and it was one of the most gratifying experiences in my life. Especially when I actually got to meet family I had never known about in person. What is it about knowing where we come from that seems to fill a void in our life? We realize how important family is (the family around us now) but what about our history? It was just something I needed to know.
As most of you know, my husband’s mother was adopted. Years ago she sent away for her medical history but said she wanted no contact. We never heard anything else about it. When my husband was asked what his nationality was, he could never say. He didn’t know. Just that his father’s side was Irish. Most people said he didn’t look Irish. He always wondered about that. After his mother passed we found some papers from the adoption agency. It had no names of his grandparents but did give short bio’s. Her mother was Irish! They don’t know if her parents knew about the pregnancy, but know her sister did. She never told her boyfriend about the pregnancy. But he was also Irish! And he played guitar! So maybe that is where the music came from? My husband plays guitar.
So, now he knows. He is Irish. Just knowing where he came from filled a part of him that had been missing. You should have seen the smile on his face that day. We would have never guessed he was a full blooded Irish man.
I think I had mentioned that a couple that lost their son a few years ago gave my husband a four-leaf clover they had laminated. They had about ten of them and said they only gave them to people who reminded them of their son, people who they thought were ‘good’ people. He keeps it in his wallet. I guess it takes on a whole new meaning for him. It is extra precious to him now.
AN AWARD
I have been given awards this past year that I know I haven’t blogged about. And I am so far behind, I don’t think I could find them or who gave them to me. I feel bad about that and would like to apologize. I might have a draft I started about them. If I do, I’ll post it. If it is gone, I really am sorry. I appreciate that someone would take the time to give me one, think of me and then I don’t even acknowledge it. 
That’s an icky feeling.
But I do remember one that Peter from Hate and Anger gave me recently for hanging in there with him while he had dropped off the blogosphere! 
We all have our moments, Peter. 2009 just kind of sucked for a bunch of us. But I am glad to see you back in blogland.
Thanks for the ‘Hanging Tough’ award my friend. As for hanging in there, that’s what friends are for hahaha “keep smiling…keep smiling…”
BEADING
I have been doing a lot of beading lately and have been working on a necklace that I wanted to make to remind me of my Gran. She loved flowers and the colour blue. She always wanted to bead. Had loads of books, beads, tools but never found the time to make anything at all over the years. So, I thought I would make something she would love. She was a very unique person and I couldn’t just make a simple necklace. I am about half way finished but would like some advice. There is a piece I made that I don’t know whether to include because I am not sure if it looks tacky. Whether I should just repeat the same type of flower I used or include this one. I’ll post it at my other site some time tonight and let you know. If you wouldn’t mind, please give me your honest opinion. I’d hate to put it together and then be disappointed about it. Not to brag, BUT…I think this is an awesome piece I am making. My first real artsy necklace! So, I don’t want to screw it up.
That’s all for now. Take care.
NOTE: I did take pictures of the necklace but my husband said they didn’t do it justice and the white background should be black. Got yapping on the phone and don’t feel like doing it tonight. Will post it on Monday.
